The Poisoning

January 15th, 11:30am

It started a few days ago.  First she wouldn't let me go to school, now she'll hardly let me leave my room.  I don't know why she's doing this to me.  What did I do to deserve it?  I thought my mother loved me, so why is she acting this way?  Dad doesn't seem to notice anything's wrong.  Am I the only one who sees it? 

If anything happens to me I want dad and sis to know the truth, so I'm going to write it all down in this composition notebook.  

January 15th, 5pm

She's tried it again.  The first time she told me to drink the liquid it tasted so vile I almost threw it up.  She says it will make me feel better, but there's nothing wrong with me.  This time I refused to take the little cup and she got mad at me.  She yelled at me and threatened to take away all my toys if I didn't obey, but I still wouldn't accept it.  Mother left my room with an angry, determined gleam to her eyes that made me frightened.

January 15th, 6:30pm

Mom cooked my favorite foods for dinner, knowing I wouldn't be able to resist her for long if hot dogs and macaroni and cheese were at stake.  She told me I couldn't have a single bit until I took the little cup.  I relented and drank the nasty tasting substance she gave me.  It took half a hot dog to erase the taste from my mouth, but I enjoyed the rest of dinner.  Mom sat at the end of the table, looking up at me every now and again to give me an evil, smug smile.

January 16th, 9:00am

It must be that stuff she gave me yesterday.  I'm starting to feel weak and a little nauseous.  When I tried to get out of bed this morning, I had to lay right back down because the room kept spinning.  Mom said I couldn't go to school today and that I had to lie down in my room and get some rest.  Mia came to see me before she had to get on the school bus but mom wouldn't let her in.  I'm totally isolated in this room.  The only one who goes in or out is mom. 

January 16th, 12pm

She tried to force the little cup of horrible liquid on me again, but this time I knew better.  I gave in last night, and now I'm so weak I couldn't go far away from my bed even if mother let me.  She was furious when I refused.  She lectured me about how bad little boys who didn't take what was given to them only get worse.  I wouldn't listen and finally she left me alone.

January 16th, 3:30pm

She tricked me!  When I told her I was thirsty, mother brought me a glass of milk.  She helped me sit up and guided the cup to my lips with a small smile.  There was something wrong with her eyes.  They were too shiny.  There was something wrong with the milk.  It tasted wrong, just a bit off, but still I could tell.  I spit my second mouthful back into the glass and shoved it back at her.  Her face changed completely and what I saw made me so afraid my throat closed up and I couldn't speak.  Mother was livid but she wasn't defeated and she wouldn't give up.

January 16th, 4:00pm

Almost as soon as she left my room she stormed back in and put the nearly full glass of milk on my nightstand.  She said I would get nothing else all day until I drank every last drop of milk.  Mother crossed her arms and smiled smugly down at me, triumph written all over her.  But I won't give in.  I know what she's doing and I won't give up without a fight.

January 16th, 10:00pm

I failed.  I was just too thirsty.  I thought I would die from dehydration, so I drank it.  I'm scared now.  If one little cup made me feel this bad, what will this new dosage do?

January 17th, 6:00am

I woke up an hour ago and threw up in the floor next to my bed.  Mother must have heard me because she came rushing in and grabbed the tiny trashcan in my bathroom for me to use.  She cleaned up my mess as I continued to throw up for the next hour and a half.  Long after I had gotten rid of all I had eaten for the past day or so, I still kept heaving.  Thin strands of bile came up, then nothing, yet I still heaved something awful.  I'm so weak now I can't sit up in bed.  There's no doubt about it now: mother is poisoning me.

January 17th, 9:00am

Dad doesn't believe me.  I called him in and told mom to leave us alone for a few minutes.  Anger flashed across her face for a moment, but then she put on a mask of sympathy and quietly left the room.  I told dad about how mom was poisoning me and keeping me away from everyone else so I couldn't tell anyone.  He laughed at me-actually laughed-and said I was being silly.  He said mom would never do anything to hurt me and that whatever she does is for my own good.  I told him-I told him all of it and he STILL wouldn't believe me!  I don't know what to do.  I'm all alone in this and I'm too weak to fight her.  No matter what, I CAN'T let her win.  Mia needs someone to look after her in school and keep her out of trouble.  I must live-for her.

January 17th, 3:00pm

I've found a way to thwart her!  Every time she brings me a drink laced with poison, I pour it into the trashcan that she moved next to my bed for when I get sick.  After she sees I've finished her death drink, she brings me plain water.  I've done it!  Now all I have to do is wait until my strength returns and I can get out of bed.  Then I'll take Mia to grandma's house and ask her to hide us.  Until the time is right, I'll wait here and pretend to get sicker so mom won't become suspicious.  I can't let mother get to Mia!

January 17th, 9:00pm

Mother caught on to my trick two hours ago.  She went to empty my trashcan and discovered all the milk I'd poured in there.  She was so angry with me that her face started getting splotchy like it does when she yells at dad about how he never does the dishes.  She marched off and burst back into my room with another glass of milk and held it out to me.  When I refused to take it, she put it on the nightstand and sat down on a chair in my bedroom, arms crossed in a determined pose.  She told me she would sit there as long as it took for me to drink the milk and for every minute she had to wait, she would throw away one of my baseball cards.  She was desperate to win.  Those cards are precious to me-I've been collecting them since I was six.  Dad gave me my first one and I've been obsessed with them ever since.  I only lasted three minutes.  When she picked up my autographed card and moved toward the trash bin with it, I cried out for her to stop.  She calmly tucked the card back into its protective sleeve and stood over my bed to watch me drink, malice and eagerness written across her face.  Then she walked out and left me alone again.  Mia isn't allowed in here although I've been asking for her since she got home.  I think mom doesn't want me to tell Mia what's really going on, afraid that together we'll escape.  I don't know what to do now.  I feel so alone.

January 18th, 12:00am

I've thrown up more times than I can count.  That last bit of poison really did me in.  When I'm not puking, I feel like I'm going to at any moment.  I've had to keep my head buried in the trash bin because I'm too afraid I'll have to use it as soon as I put it down.  There are rare moments when I feel like the nausea is dying down, but they never last long.  I'm having one of those moments now, or else I wouldn't be up to writing this.  I've started getting hot and cold chills all down my body.  One moment I'm burning up, the next I'm shivering uncontrollably.  Mom came in about half an hour ago and made me drink another little cup of liquid.  I didn't have the will to fight her.  I felt so miserable and out of it that she made me drink it without a problem.  I'm so afraid I'm gonna die.  Then Mia will be alone.  Mom will hurt her too.  Dad didn't believe me and he won't believe her when it starts for her.  He's too taken in by mother's act.  He can't help us.  I can't help myself.  And I can't help Mia.  Mia: if I die and you find this, please keep fighting.  Escape, go to grandma or ANYONE who will believe you and hide you from mom.  I love you, Mia.  I'm so sorry I failed you.

January 18th, 7:00pm

I'm starting to get better!  I've stopped shivering and I don't feel very nauseous anymore.  I'm still weak and my stomach's not totally right, but I'm definitely better than I was.  Maybe there's still hope!  Maybe I'm becoming immune to the poison mother's been giving me, or maybe it's just stopped working for some reason.  Mia, we'll get out of here yet, I promise!

January 18th, 9:00pm

I guess I was wrong about everything.  Mom and dad came in a while ago and had a talk with me.  They explained to me that I came down with the flu and that my fever broke today, which is why I'm feeling better.  Mom's been giving me medicine to help with my symptoms, but since I kept refusing to take it, it didn't help me as much as it could have.  Apparently dad told mom what I said about her poisoning me and they agreed to talk with me about it together.  Mom apologized, saying she should have explained to me exactly why I needed to take my medicine instead of just trying to force it on me.  She's promised to take me and Mia out to our favorite restaurant when I'm completely better!  Mom even fished my baseball cards out of the trash and said she was sorry for being so harsh with me.  I may have been wrong about the poisoning thing, but can you blame me?  I just don't understand why medicine has to taste so horrible!  Oh well, at least Mia and I are going to get to go to our favorite place when I'm better!  See you then, Mia.